Because Every Woman Needs A Pick-Me-Up!

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?"
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet,
I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,
"but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing
I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can
take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your
upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider!

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to
an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As
they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his
wife about how many words women use
a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to
be because we have to repeat everything
to men...

The husband then turned to his wife
and asked, "What?"

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having
an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do
it because you get up first, and
then we don't have to wait as
long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in
charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is
your job, and I can just wait for
my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that,
show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened
the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that
it indeed says "HEBREWS"…

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some
problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM"
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had
missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a
piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.