A Little Captain Anyone?

Disclaimer... I don't agree with driving drunk AT ALL!
But this is humorous, and sadly I can pick a handful
of dorks in my past that would probably come up with
something similar...lol

Only a person in Florida could think of this.

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport,
comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol
parked outside a bar in punta gorda, Florida after last call
the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently
intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles,
the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there
for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off
--it was a fine, dry summer night--
flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked
the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the
vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of
the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the
only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove
slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time,
now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights,
promptly pulled the man over and administered a
breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer
indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any
alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to
accompany me to the sheriff's office. This breathalyzer
equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."