Recently I received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and
laced with profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else
I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier
and even ruder.
So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird
and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute. Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened
the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and
said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language
and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate
transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As I was
about to ask the parrot what had made such a
dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
!! DISCLAIMER !!
I hope to make this blog a place to vent, share stories, think out loud, ask for advice and sometimes just make the day a little brighter. I will do my best not to use names. But at some point if you are in my life, I might use you as inspiration (bad or good) in writing. That might offend some people. So in an effort to cover all my bases, here's a little disclaimer for everyone!
If you know me, you know this blog is going to be often brutally honest and not for everyone. If you don't know me, be warned, I am known to say it as I see it. Everyone loves me or hates me. It's just that simple. If there is someone in the gray area, it's probably because you really don't know me at all. Or you met me when I was on display and had to act accordingly.
To My Husband:
You know I love you. We have been to the top of the mountain, the bottom of the valley and back around again (a few times!). But we make it through. Sometimes it's tough and I might vent. But you know we'll figure it out. So if I write about you, please know that if it's been longer than a week since I posted it, chances are we are over the hurdle and back on track. If it's within the week, maybe you could be a little nicer for a few days while I get over it. The Gemini in you takes 5 mins to be ok. The Leo in me takes just a bit longer sometimes....
To My Family:
I am who I am today because of (or in spite of) all of you. I love each of you in our own special way. But we are who we are. And as much as I annoy all of you sometimes, you drive me bonkers, too. Tread lightly, some of you might not want to know everything there is to know. And remember, at the end of the day, we are family and I will love you no matter what. Even when I am not sure why! lol...
To My Friends:
Chances are, if you are really my friend, you will completely understand everything that I post. Even in my moments of insanity. If I post something and you think it might be about you, you might be right. If you are offended by it, talk to me. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. If it's not and you are still offended, then you probably aren't included in this category after all. You should probably look up the terms acquaintance and/or fr-enemies, pick which ever one you want, I'll probably agree with you.
Well, you've been warned.
Happy reading... Comment away...
If you know me, you know this blog is going to be often brutally honest and not for everyone. If you don't know me, be warned, I am known to say it as I see it. Everyone loves me or hates me. It's just that simple. If there is someone in the gray area, it's probably because you really don't know me at all. Or you met me when I was on display and had to act accordingly.
To My Husband:
You know I love you. We have been to the top of the mountain, the bottom of the valley and back around again (a few times!). But we make it through. Sometimes it's tough and I might vent. But you know we'll figure it out. So if I write about you, please know that if it's been longer than a week since I posted it, chances are we are over the hurdle and back on track. If it's within the week, maybe you could be a little nicer for a few days while I get over it. The Gemini in you takes 5 mins to be ok. The Leo in me takes just a bit longer sometimes....
To My Family:
I am who I am today because of (or in spite of) all of you. I love each of you in our own special way. But we are who we are. And as much as I annoy all of you sometimes, you drive me bonkers, too. Tread lightly, some of you might not want to know everything there is to know. And remember, at the end of the day, we are family and I will love you no matter what. Even when I am not sure why! lol...
To My Friends:
Chances are, if you are really my friend, you will completely understand everything that I post. Even in my moments of insanity. If I post something and you think it might be about you, you might be right. If you are offended by it, talk to me. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. If it's not and you are still offended, then you probably aren't included in this category after all. You should probably look up the terms acquaintance and/or fr-enemies, pick which ever one you want, I'll probably agree with you.
Well, you've been warned.
Happy reading... Comment away...
21 November 2007
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3 comments:
perfect
There is nothing that starts my day off like a good laugh. Your tale, My New Parrot, did it for me. Your site is now on "My Favorite Blogs" I'll be back and often. Mary from Meander With Me.
this is so cool. i never did anything like this when i got married.oh and i would stop worring abou the whole vows thing i twill deffinatly come to you. love -julie long
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